After having a particular date, we had been going back once again to their (browse: parents’) destination and stopped as a bagel go shopping for drunk food. After purchasing, he said “watch this” and proceeded to take a package of smoked salmon from the refrigerator and place it in their coating. I became too afraid to accomplish anything, and so I quietly waited for my meals and got away from there ASAP. The remainder stroll straight right back ended up being spent paying attention to him speak about just exactly how he and their buddies always accomplish that between shovelling pieces of smoked salmon in their lips. I became SO prepared for bed because of the time we surely got to their house, but Beard dating sex JK there was clearly no sleep in my situation and evidently not really a settee. Rather, he led me personally to a sleeping bag wedged between a treadmill machine and a model package in a cellar that appeared to be it had been right away from a horror film. We clearly couldn’t closed my eyes and I also debated making to settle my vehicle… but I became I’d that is too afraid wake parents. —Erinn

Date rating: 3/10 as the bagel (that we covered, BTW) ended up being pretty damn good

Bad boyfriends

The man whom could keep it out n’t of their jeans

I happened to be in my own very very very early 20s whenever I dated a dude that is much-older swept me down my legs despite countless warning flags, like extortionate ingesting while the hydro he “borrowed” from his building’s hallway via extremely long and obtrusive electrical cords. We dated for a few months until I happened to be unceremoniously ghosted. Bear in mind, the injury of a early-aughts ghosting ended up being much more serious than present-day ghosting if you didn’t bump into them IRL or sad gal-call them, they were legit gone because you couldn’t keep tabs on an ex via social media.

I shifted and eventually my roommates and I also relocated to a unique apartment where we chose to earn some additional ingesting cash by keeping an impromptu garden purchase. We put up piles of material on our curb and I also decided it absolutely was about time to pull the“ex file out,” a.k.a., the container of their junk that I’d had relocated in one apartment to another location into the tragic hope that he’d call someday for the do-over. a giddily that is passerby up their Polo Ralph Lauren pyjama pants for a very good $2 before going back moments later on with a appearance of pure surprise on her face. She handed me personally the jeans and asked us to appear in. Here it had been, on a single for the final items of y our relationship that is crappy shart stain. We wordlessly offered the woman her toonie straight straight back, tossed the soiled jammies in a sewer and collapsed in laughter with my two best friends. And also to think i usually hoped he’d get his shit together.—Jenn

Date rating: 0/10 for literally being the boyfriend that is shittiest ever

The man who had been simply an ass

We’d been dating for approximately an and, admittedly, i had gained bit of weight year. We went up to their home to hold away, while you do whenever you’re 17 while having zero earnings, and after watching literally hours of him play Xbox, I happened to be hungry (GOD FORBID). I went for a small number of cheese puffs to that he replied, “Exactly just how much fat have you gained?” Mom f-cker. We WISH I had answered: “180 pounds of asshole.” —Alanna