Oscar Wilde? Michael Cunningham? Robert Klitzman? Robert Michels? Frank Underwood? Kevin Spacey? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: While reading in regards to the precipitous downfall of a influential tastemaker that is literary powerbroker at The Paris Review we encountered once more a remark caused by Oscar Wilde. Listed here are three variations:

• All things are about intercourse except intercourse. Intercourse is mostly about energy.
• All things are about intercourse, except intercourse, that is about energy.
• Every thing when you look at the global globe is mostly about sex, except intercourse. Intercourse is all about energy.

The Wilde ascription is usually labeled apocryphal. exactly exactly What do you consider?

Quote Investigator: QI has discovered no evidence that is substantive Oscar Wilde wrote or said this remark. It’s not placed in the compendium that is valuable Wit & Wisdom of Oscar Wilde assembled by quote specialist Ralph Keyes. 1

The close match that is earliest found by QI starred in the Provincetown Arts journal of 1995. Writer Michael Cunningham employed the word during an meeting carried out by other author Paul Lisicky. Cunningham is currently most commonly known when it comes to Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Hours. Emphasis put into excerpts by QI: 2

If youre writing in what individuals do in order to in accordance with the other person, it is kind of crazy to go out of sex away. I do believe Oscar Wilde stated, Everything in human being life is actually about intercourse, except intercourse. Intercourse is all about energy. And I also think hes got something here.

Cunningham disclaimed coinage and offered an attribution which was both tentative and implausible. Ergo, the old saying continues to be anonymous.

Here are extra chosen citations in chronological purchase.

A variant statement about violence starred in a novel posted in identical 12 months whilst the citation above. The chronology that is precise uncertain because Provincetown Arts had been posted in July, however the 1995 guide failed to specify per month. In a home of ambitions and Glass: Becoming a Psychiatrist by Robert Klitzman M.D. included a discussion during which a colleague warned Klitzman this one of their brand new clients might attempt to seduce him. Emphasis put into excerpts by QI: 3

Shes likely to you will need to connect on for you and also to get under your epidermis. We when possessed a manager whom utilized to express that Everything in treatments are actually about intercourse except intercourse, which can be about aggression. We smiled but ended up being puzzled. I really couldnt inform just exactly just how wholeheartedly he accepted this idea.

This remark employed the expression everything in treatment rather than everything into the world. Additionally, aggression occurred rather than power. Yet, the comment fit the template that is same. The attribution ended up being anonymous, i.e., an unidentified manager received credit.

In 1997 The chatting Cure by Susan C. Vaughan printed an intermediate variation. The word that is restrictive had been fallen. But, the adage also used aggression rather of power: 4

Certainly, the value with which intercourse and violence are regarded as motivators of individual behavior by psychoanalysts is captured because of the saying, Everything is all about intercourse, except intercourse, which will be about violence.

In 1998 Vaughan utilized the same variation within a guide in regards to the male-potency medication Viagra: 5

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Since the old joke that is analytic, Everything is all about sex except sex, that will be about aggression. But Im gambling that sex is mostly about intercourse, too.

In 2002 the collection Constructing and Womans that is deconstructing Power included an article titled Looking at women: just what do men see? by Robert Alan Glick including the immediate following: 6

Summarizing Freud and all of psychoanalysis many succinctly, Robert Michels (personal interaction) wryly recommended: Everything is mostly about intercourse, except intercourse: intercourse is all about energy. To which he included: Sometimes intercourse is merely about intercourse!

The smoothness Francis Underwood played by Kevin Spacey into the television series House of Cards utilized the word throughout the very first period in 2013: 7

The United states House of Cards contains comparable signature phrasesFrank Underwoods Power is like property. It is exactly about location, location, location. The closer you may be to your supply, the larger your home value; Democracy is overrated; A great guy as soon as stated, everything is about intercourse. Except intercourse. Intercourse is mostly about energy.

To conclude, the ascription to Oscar Wilde is apocryphal. Writer Michael Cunningham utilized the word by 1995, but he disclaimed credit. Additionally in 1995 psychiatrist Robert Klitzman employed a thematically comparable remark about violence while disclaiming credit. One of these simple expressions could have developed in to the other even though the chronology is certainly not clear. This informative article presents a snapshot of present knowledge and future discoveries might provide further lighting.

(Great because of Karin Kross Levenstein, Helena Aman, and Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry whose inquiries led QI to formulate this question and perform this research. Thanks additionally the requester whom wants to keep anonymous.)

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