“Maybe t’s perhaps not obvous,” began, “but are unable to get a hold of very well. have a problem wth my vision . . .” “Embark on,” she sad. ” pondered when you will say somethng.” Since elaborated, tred to judge Susana’s reacton. However, she simply spped her liquids and you can sad nothng, along with her face is actually also fuzzy to offer me wth people nonverbal clues. To my relef, even in the event, the latest lttle you to she unfortunate when fnshed sounded significantly more sympathetc and you will sincere, even admrng, than ptyng or repulsed. An excellent, believe. Maybe somethng is happenng here. advised we become along with her agan in the future, and you will stored my personal breath.

“No,” she sad, flatly. ” cannot do that. are unable to day wth you.” observed that we’d been gettng into the ncely. Enjoyably. A great deal n prominent. Yes, she decided, that was genuine. And you will is a good man, a man away from qualtes. What exactly try t, questioned, farly certain that the issue wasn’t lkely to-be my baldng pate or my couples improperly sung bars out of a vintage Tto Rodrguez track. However, necessary to tune in to exactly how she’d put t.

” have ths dream,” Susana sad, “on which would feel rght, next tme ‘m wth one. And you can what magne s much time rdes letter the vehicle. Roadway trps. On the shore in order to Baja. Otherwise up to the newest Serras.”

Stupdly, failed to find where she are gong wth ths. “Yes,” sad. ” lke accomplish the individuals thngs, as well. Because regarding ths . . . ” gestured on the my personal defectve sight.

“n the fresh dream,” she nterjected, “t’s maybe not my car. And you can t’s perhaps not me personally that’s drvng. t’s the guy. And you also cannot accomplish that.”

“No,” unfortunate, ” are unable to.”

Hangng on just take ral regarding a jam-packed, home-likely coach, wondered: Was the girl smply a monstrous narcssst? Otherwise had she brought to our meetng needs and you will expectatons also so much more intense than my, discovered me a great deal more appealng than just you certainly will share with and sensed crmnally betrayed on my personal dsclosure of your own RP, though the she had rsked was comng out for lunch?

Then again agan, envision, ths try Los angeles, and perhaps t was just as the she had sad. The lady ltmus attempt of macho capablty, faled. Where son belonged escort in Vacaville is actually behnd new controls. n the drver’s chair.

Each week roughly afterwards, checkng my personals messages, is startled to listen to Susana ntroducng by herself and you can nvtng us to name, due to the fact f we had never ever met. found t nconcevable one to she got over ths n gnorance, one my ad and voce greetng had go off not even a shade off a memory space. pondered f the woman therapy mght be so convoluted that she desired in order to reconsder however, must lay t right up as an enthusiastic accdent to save your self face. realized full better you to ths try a beneficial fancful, eager speculation, and you may, anyhow, whom letter hs rght mnd will love someone who neurotc? named.

“Oh, t’s your,” she unfortunate. ” think somethng sounded famlar.” Lke a beneficial boler area mobile solctor, she ended up being makng this lady phone calls of an excellent lst she had compled regarding ntrgung personals container numbers, wth precisely the weird descrptve word otherwise statement once the annotaton to remnd her off detals. Besde my field matter might have been scrbbled “likes musc” or “wrter” otherwise “ends up,” however, frequently maybe not “the latest 1 / 2 of-blnd boy got one food wth.” She got smply forgotten so you’re able to get across me from the lst.

f t is closing expected, t try closing had. thanked Susana into explanaton, wshed the lady an excellent lfe, hung-up and you will managed to move on.

Joel M. Deutsch s a la Wrter Copyrght 2000 Los angeles Tmes